How to lift your spirits if everything is a bit much
A lot of us are struggling right now, you're not alone
đ¸ : @globaldoula
Hello and a happy Friday to you,
Wow, itâs been quite a week hasnât it? As we learn more details of about the Downing Street Christmas party each day, I know itâs a hard time for a lot of people who stuck to the rules or missed out on seeing loved ones last year. This, plus tighter restrictions coming back in, leaves a lot of us feeling frustrated and conflicted.
Since I wrote about feeling lonely last week, people have been so kind, so thank you to everyone who reached out, shared their own experiences or checked in with me. I was also really heartened to hear from people who said they checked in with other friends they hadnât spoken to for a while.
Iâm having a much better week, but I know some people are really struggling at the moment. So, I wanted to share my advice of what works for me, in case it might work for you too.
Firstly, my best advice is to treat yourself like you would your best friend. This is at the heart of self-compassion if you want to look into the work of Kristin Neff more. I am sure all of us are really good friends to others, so try and speak kindly to yourself like you would to them. It can take practice, but once you realise you can do that for yourself, itâs quite an epiphany!
If you are struggling with self-kindness and feeling low, a good question to ask yourself is: âWhatâs the kindest thing I can do for myself right now? Even just a little.â Iâve learnt to ask myself this question through workshops with the Museum Of Happiness and Kind Mind Academy so their work is worth checking out if you need to start somewhere. Sometimes the kindest thing might be sitting down and having a rest with a lovely cup of tea and no social media. Sometimes it might be getting through that big pile of washing up that feels like itâs hanging over you.
No one is ever alone when they feel low, so know that itâs OK not to be OK and you can always ask for help. Hopefully you have some trusted friends or family that you can reach out too. If youâre feeling vulnerable, try to communicate how you are feeling. For example, you could message a close friend or a WhatsApp group of trusted people and say: âIâm struggling a bit right now, is anyone free to talk to me?â or you could tell someone: âIt would really lift me to be around another person right now, can I come round for an hour for a cup of tea?â This is especially important if you are single or live alone.
Sometimes we can feel ignored when we feel low, but communicating what we need is a radical act of self-care, as other people have their own stuff going on and might not always be attuned to whatâs going on for us.
And if you ever feel like you canât turn to someone you know, there are amazing listening services such as the Samaritans, Shout text service (which I have used myself in a crisis moment) and CALM.
Obviously, one could go on forever with ideas of how to look after ourselves but one more thing that helps me is pausing and checking in with myself and how I am feeling. This could be through a mindfulness meditation or through journalling thoughts. Sometimes, this makes me realise my nervous system is on high alert and perhaps getting off social media (particularly Twitter after a big political story) and running a hot bath with Epsom salts will make me more chill ahead of bedtime. Itâs good to have a go to list of activities that will help change your mood. For me, I have an uplifting playlist, a calming playlist, go to podcasts and try to have a novel on the go to read before bed.
Just one more thing; never estimate the power of getting showered and dressed, going outside for a walk and finding exercise that makes you feel good. For me, thatâs bouncing on my rebounder for 15 minutes most mornings (sorry downstairs neighbours!) and sometimes treating myself to a brilliant personal trainer Marios Iacovou. If you have any great self-care tips, feel free to tweet me or reply to this email.
Tweet Of The Week
Uplifting News Stories
Inside Stormzyâs Christmas party for the kids of Croydon | Big Issue
The superhero plumber who keeps his community warm | Guardian
Christmas gift scheme Pass the Parcel returns to Bristol | BBC News
Group of women form UK's first senior co-housing | Smiley News
Dr Radha Modgil and Giles Paley-Phillips are launching a new podcast
Also, my mum is brilliant:
Features Worth Sharing
How to make your own Christmas wreath | Evening Standard (disclaimer: written by me)
Why We Need To Stop Waiting For Male Footballers To Come Out | HuffPost UK
Why Are Christmas Films Obsessed With Rewarding Toxic Men? | Refinery 29
Poo-inspired toys are everywhere | The i
7 things we learnt about emotions from BrenĂŠ Brown | Womanâs Hour
Event Of The Week
Going to watch The London Gay Menâs Chorus perform for their 30th birthday was one of the most uplifting gigs of my life. (I might have been tipsy when I tweeted this particular statement.)
Venue Worth Visiting
I went to a brilliant launch event at Lone Design Club, a pop-up shop in St Johnâs Wood, last night. This is such an uplifting Christmas gift shop because it showcases independent brands, mostly from London, and a lot of them are sustainable. Have a browse through this post / account to see whatâs on offer. The brands showcasing change each week and the store is there until Dec 22. I got a lovely goodie bag of treats from So Divine, which is a self-love and pleasure-positive sex toy brand.
What To Watch
What Iâm Reading Next
LeâNiseâs book is coming out in March 2022. This woman is a genius.
Hope you have lovely weekends all,
BB x
This is The Uplift, a weekly newsletter by me, journalist Becky Barnes. If you enjoyed it, feel free to buy me a coffee.
The Uplift will arrive in your inbox every Friday, featuring good news and self care. I also have a podcast about life advice.
A bit about me: Iâm a journalist living in London. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram.
LOOK FORWARD TO FRIDAYS .