Why being an auntie is my greatest role in life - so far
12 days of uplift #3
Hello and a happy Sunday to you,
You may (or may not) have noticed I haven’t stuck to my *daily* #12DaysOfUplift, but I plan to fulfil the 12, just maybe not one every single day right now.
There are a few exciting things happening in the background that I will be able to tell you about soon, which have distracted me from a daily newsletter (as well as doing freelance shifts full time).
I have some good stories to share in the coming days but right now, I’ve decided to share with you a piece I wrote that never got commissioned. I hope you find it uplifting.
It’s called: Why being an auntie is my greatest role in life – so far
Something happened to me in 2016 that knocked me sideways.
Up until then, I had been reliably informed, albeit by the fairy tales of my childhood, that finding a man, getting married and birthing a child would bring the most meaning and fulfilment to my life.
So, imagine my surprise, when I discovered my biggest life’s calling so far: Very Cool Auntie.
The first inkling that my world was about to change forever came when my sister’s husband sent The First Picture. There’s something quite incredible about how beautiful someone looks when they have just birthed a human.
Yet the thing I was drawn to the most (sorry sis), was the helpless shrivelled bundle in her arms. And that sudden rush of love and wonder for my new nephew was truly special.
Four hours later, I was holding him in the hospital and nicknamed him Scrappy because he had no fat on him. Little did I know this was just the beginning of the greatest love story I’d ever known.
Fast forward five and a half years and I have three niblings, the collective name for nieces and nephews that I really think should be more mainstream.
My nephew is now five and his little sister is three. They both call me Eppy, which was a nickname coined by the eldest when he attempted to say Auntie Becky. The second started calling me Becky but she’s in a phase of copying her brother and it’s gone back to Eppy. I love it. There’s now a third; a five-month-old smily baby.
Living near to my sister and my brother-in-law means I have seen my nephews and niece pretty much at least once a week since they were born. Not being able to cuddle them during 2020’s first lockdown was pretty hideous, but as soon as we could form a support bubble, we did.
Niblings are cute as babies, but when they develop into tiny humans the gifts just keep coming.
The great thing about being an auntie is I can dip in whenever I want and then go home to my bed and no one’s going to wake me up in the night or in the morning. I can pop round to get a hit of seeing the world through a child’s eyes and a lot of laughter. An added bonus is as well as it being a great benefit to me, my sister is also grateful for a little bit of respite and extra help so everyone’s happy.
With my sister and her husband being so chilled, I get the trust to do the odd nappy, am on hand for baths and bedtime, and I don’t feel awkward if the kids stick their fingers up my nose or sneeze directly into my mouth (OK I wrote that line before Covid peaked again…)
Being the chosen one to wipe a bottom or to have half-chewed food as a regular offering, certainly aren’t the highlights in my role as auntie. However, there’s something very special about being a stand-in parent and “responsible adult” without the full-blown responsibility of keeping a small unpredictable human alive for the rest of my life.
The moments that stand out for me are that special recognition when I arrive – whether it’s a baby’s face lighting up, kicking his or her legs and reaching out chubby arms to be picked up, or feeling like a VIP when I walk through their front door and a toddler rushes to greet me, chanting my name.
It’s that small hand slipping into mine for safety or that soft arm resting on mine as I read a story. It’s a tiny person clambering into my lap, and me being able to provide comfort when they’re hurt.
It’s having a captive audience who stare in awe at my silly singing as if I’m Pavarotti and laugh at all my crap jokes like I’m storming the Edinburgh Festival.
It’s reading stories and playing games and making funny noises and dancing around with not a care in the world.
It’s the triple cuddles, where all are competitive for my attention but are also still small enough to perch on one leg each (and one snuggled up).
It’s the novelty of dipping in and treating them – first trip to the cinema, first trip to the theatre, a sneaky Maccy Ds (we’ll forget having to crack out a potette in McDonald’s because the toilet was out of order).
And there’s even the thrill of occasionally being mistaken for the parent and wondering whether I will have children or whether being an auntie is a mega sweet deal no one had told me about.
My sister having children has taken the pressure of society off me a bit too. I love seeing my mum come alive in her role as granny and I only occasionally have to brush off comments from well-meaning people about being “a natural” (sigh) and questions about whether I’m broody.
If I do one day become a mum, I feel very prepared with all the nibling practice. And if I don’t, I have the privilege of being a positive role model and giving and receiving a lot of love, with a lot more time, money and sleep for myself.
While I am an “official” auntie to this precious trio, I have a couple of honorary niblings born in recent years to best friends and a few on the way. With society moving further away every year from the “nuclear family”, our families can be whoever we chose them to be. So, we might be aunties or uncles without being “officially related” and that’s just as special.
OK, thanks for reading. Speak soon.
BB x
This is The Uplift, a weekly newsletter by me, journalist Becky Barnes. If you enjoyed it, feel free to buy me a coffee.
The Uplift will arrive in your inbox every Friday, featuring good news and self care. I also have a podcast about life advice.
A bit about me: I’m a journalist living in London. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram.