Hello and a happy Friday to you,
Thanks to everyone who got in touch with encouraging messages when I shared my egg freezing journey with you last week. And thank you to Nicola Slawson for featuring it in her ever-fabulous Single Supplement newsletter.
Since I last wrote to you, the introduction of a second daily injection made my hormones go wild and I had some really challenging days (evenings mostly!) But thankfully I got through it with self-compassion, self-care and the support of brilliant friends and family. I count myself lucky that I’m hopefully only going through this just once. Anyone who has been through this repeatedly as part of the gruelling IVF process has incredible strength and determination. Sending love to anyone going through this now.
My egg retrieval is today (Friday) and I am looking forward to finding out how many eggs have been successfully frozen. I’m also looking forward to lots of potato-based food, chocolate and watching the film of Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, which is out today.
This week, I’ve spoken to author, activist and storyteller Bernadette Russell, whose most recent book How To Be Hopeful: Your Toolkit to Rediscover Hope and Help Create a More Compassionate World is a great tonic in these strange times.
Ten years ago, Bernadette undertook a project called 366 Days Of Kindness where she was kind to a stranger every day. Right now, she’s touring a show of the same name. Here’s her life advice.
What inspires you to spread kindness and hope?
Ten years ago this year, I began doing daily acts of kindness, as I felt so hopeless and down about what seemed like the enormous and insurmountable problems of the world, I just thought I’d try it for a year to see if kindness could change anything. It was a life changing experience and taught me that despite what we are encouraged to believe about the world and our fellow human beings, there is more good than bad, hope than fear, and more love than hate in the world. I also began sharing good and hopeful news stories around this time as often as possible on social media and in person, as I think that a constant onslaught of negative news is detrimental to our collective mental health, and causes more harm, as it discourages positive action. There are loads of amazing individuals, groups, and organisations all over the world being defiantly hopeful and relentlessly kind! Daily kindness restores me to hope, and lets me see the wonders of the world, and how excellent human beings can be and are.
In life, what is the best advice anyone has ever given to you?
To treat every set back or disappointment as an opportunity to learn and grow. To think the best of people, and to be curious always.
If you could go back and give yourself some advice, when would you go back to and what would you tell yourself?
I’d go back and tell 12 year old me not to be ashamed of who I am or where I come from, and to be proud of surviving.
What's your best life advice for other people?
I think it’s good fun to create a motto (mine is “Be Kind, Be Curious, Find The Joy”) and useful too. Something to remind yourself of for when you get a bit lost or down: ask yourself what is your “north star”– what helps you navigate life and get back on track? Three things are good (three is a magic number, right?) and it is totally ok to copy someone else’s ideas! When you’re stuck, refer to your motto for guidance. Change it when it no longer fits.
Who is How To Be Hopeful for and what would you say to anyone thinking of reading it?
It’s for anyone who wants to find the courage and daring to hope, even in really difficult times. For anyone who wants to be reassured that the world is full of amazing people, doing incredible things, always has been, always will be. It’s a very practical and gentle book with exercises and ideas to help the reader bolster and practise active hope. And it’s full of inspiring stories, innovations, scientific studies, ancient philosophies, and creative practises focused on hope and compassion.
Uplifting News Stories
Emma Raducanu makes tennis history with stunning US Open final win | Metro
NikkieTutorials pays powerful tribute to Marsha P Johnson at Met Gala | Pink News
'Queer Eye' gets immortalised in their own incredible Lego set | Mashable
Features Worth Sharing
Dr Radha: Give yourself a good reason to get up in the morning | The i
Post-lockdown pressures made me finally put myself first | Metro
All these references to Emma Raducanu’s smile make me uneasy | The Independent
What I’m reading
This book by anti-racism campaigner Nova Reid has just come out this week and my pre-ordered copy arrived yesterday. I’m sure it won’t be a comfortable read but it will be an important one.
Have a good weekend everyone,
BB x
This is The Uplift, a weekly newsletter by me, journalist Becky Barnes. If you enjoyed it, feel free to buy me a coffee.
The Uplift will arrive in your inbox every Friday, featuring good news and self care. I also have a podcast about life advice.
A bit about me: I’m a journalist living in London. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram.