Connection

Loneliness Awareness Week

Hi there,

It’s Loneliness Awareness Week (10th to 16th June) and as someone who has felt lonely many times, I thought I’d dedicate today’s newsletter to just that and sending love to anyone who is feeling it right now. The theme for this year’s Loneliness Awareness Week is Random Acts of Connection, which I absolutely love.

The campaign is created and hosted by the Marmalade Trust and this year people are being encouraged to increase simple, everyday moments, which help us feel less lonely. This can be as simple as a chat in a queue, smiling at a neighbour, reaching out to a friend, or signing up to a new activity. They’ve created a list of ideas here. These are the kind of interactions, I’m trying to slow down and savour every day, rather than have my head down looking at my phone. Smiling at strangers (and dogs) and talking to cats (and dogs) usually goes down quite well in Brighton I’ve found.

Over the years, I’ve learnt how connection is so important for my mental wellbeing and to help me find hope and joy during the more challenging times in life. One book that really helped me understand this was Johann Hari’s Lost Connections (Thanks for the recommendation, Emma.) Also, Donna Lancaster, a trainee elder and trusted mentor, talks about the “Six Tent Pegs” to help people “stay tethered in stormy weather”. One of these is about connection and a good balance of time alone; “alone not lonely” and connecting to others. Donna also extends this to our connection to ourselves, the natural world and our higher power. You can read the post on the tent pegs for free on her Substack here. (Would recommend subscribing if it resonates!)

One of the standout times of loneliness in my life, like many other, is during the first lockdown of 2020. I wrote about it for HuffPost here. As someone single and living alone, suddenly not going to work or being able to have contact with others, felt unbearable. 2020 was also the year that I started working with Donna Lancaster and also trying other alternatives to just talking therapy. In my loneliness, I had a moment where suddenly I looked at the leaves dancing on the trees and realised in nature, I would never be alone. These moments in nature have expanded to the treasure of birdsong, feeling held by the earth or leaning on a tree, watching the sea or getting in for a dip and also when sunlight filters through a tree.

On loneliness - The Uplift (From 2021)

It was also when going through a career transition and moving home last year that I had moments of loneliness and again it was spending time in nature that kept me going. Now I am in Brighton, I feel I am part of a community thanks to human interaction too. It is so friendly here.

I’m currently on a dog and cat sit in Brighton and I am reminded how much joy animals bring. Walking a cute dog also means more conversations with strangers.

Things That Have Brought Me Joy Since I Last Wrote

Lots of sea swims, alone and with friends too

This plate of food made for me with so much love by my friend Leasa

The June sunshine

Visiting Kent and seeing my mum and going to watch Everybody’s Talking About Jamie for about the sixth or seventh time

Finding rocks like this on the beach

An incredible, releasing Yoga Massage in Kent with Sarah Grattan

An evening of musical joy with Sarah Weiler

My friend Aurora landing her first art exhibition

auroraanandaart

A post shared by @auroraanandaart

Moving out of my previous house

Taking my 91 year old cousin Monica to Old Leigh for the day

Being introduced to the music of MaMuse (thanks Teenie, Sarah and Mags)

My lovely friends announcing their pregnancy

Camping at Vallis Veg in Frome for a friend’s 40th and seeing all the babies and toddlers of our friendship group

Winning at rainy, slug-abundant camping by wearing a Dry Robe

A delicious picnic in Stanmer Park…

…where there is a pick and mix for dog treats ^^^

I’m enjoying reading this book ^

Summer flowers

I watched the poppy blowing in the breeze and thought how it is both delicate and resilient

A full moon in May

Righto, that’s it from me this week. I’d love to hear in the comments what helps you combat loneliness, or feel connected in whatever way works for you. I’d also love to hear stories of Random Acts of Connection if you’d like to share.

• I’m also avoiding reading the news so don’t have as much of a catalogue of good news stories so please do share any below if you’d like to.

Have a lovely week,

BB X